ARE YOUR BEST FRIENDS NON MUSLIMS?

[Dinni]

Salam sisters,

I would appreciate if you have anything to share in this topic.

Like I mentioned in my other post, I had befriended a non muslim lady from my country whom I met here in NOVA. I respect her as she is a very dedicated stay home wife and mom. She and her husband are also very much involved in their church.

We decided from the beginning, to avoid all religious topic in our conversation. However, as we are getting to know each other better, just recently we came to the crossing line.

She had ask me a few of very strange questions in regards of Islam. Dont get me wrong, I believe she asked them in a polite matter. She told me she is wondering about Islam. She asked me why this why that, and I kept trying to change the subject politely, and answered it the ones that I know for sure.

I tried to hint to her without being rude, that we should not argue about this. I dont think she got my message. She feels very comfortable, so I went along with her questions. She told me that she owns a muslim dress too and she would like to wear it sometimes with me(without the hijab).

So I thought that it is very strange, because the other day she told me that she wishes that I would convert so that I can be saved by Jesus at the end of the day.That moment, I just laugh at her, shook my head and say, Is that so???

And then the last time I saw her, she didnt bring up anything of the religion, BUT, she brought one Christian book to the picnic lunch we had.
I thought to myself that maybe it was unintentional, because out of 6 books she brought, only one Christian one, and she didnt read it out to us, eventhough her 3 yo daughter tried to read it herself.

I dont want to think negative of her as it is not permittable to accuse somebody of doing something that's not proven. I'm just cofused of what she is trying to do, or to achieve...any ideas?

Regards,
Dinni

[amirah85]

maybe...you know,when you like someone that it's not muslim...yo wish that she'll become muslim so she would be save from hellfire insha'allah,so maybe for her is the same thing.
anyway is good if she makes qestions,is good opportunity for dawa!

[aishamommy]

[smilie=111281salams.gif]

you dont have a vote for I dont have non-muslim friends

but I did find this

Question:
What is the view of Islam towards friendship with followers of different religions

Answer:
Praise be to Allah;

Reply for this question would be the same as the reply to question #23325.

In addition, the following should be noted:

We should differentiate between good treatment of non-Muslims and befriending them.
We should differentiate between establishing a relationship with a non-Muslim for the purpose of da’wah (i.e. teaching him and inviting him to Islam) and befriending him for no valid Islamic purpose.
We should differentiate between establishing a relationship with a non-Muslim for trading and/or education reasons and befriending him, as friendship would mean deeper feeling of affection and fondness, comradeship, and being influenced by him.


Islam Q&A
Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid


Making friends with a kaafir woman

Question:
Is it allowed for a muslim woman to be friends with a non-muslim woman who is very decent, without neglecting her one religion and is there a severe punishment if she does?

Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.

Undoubtedly making friends with a kaafir woman will adversely affect her religious commitment, because a kaafir woman does not behave in the same manner or have the same attitude as a Muslim woman, and she does not worship Allaah according to the religion of Islam. Therefore she will not avoid doing things that may adversely affect this Muslim woman who may be deceived by the modest dress or good manners of this kaafir woman, especially in matters that will adversely affect her religious commitment.

Similarly, making friends with her may lead to some kind of approval in one's heart for the rituals that she does as part of her own religion, and this will weaken the sense of friendship and enmity for the sake of Allaah (al-wala’ wa’l-bara’).

Indeed, it may lead some ignorant people to disapprove of the ruling of Allaah that the kaafirs are disbelievers who will abide in Hell forever – we seek refuge with Allaah. Hence the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Do not keep company with anyone but a believer and do not let anyone eat your food but one who is pious.” (Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 2395; Abu Dawood, 4832; classed as saheeh by Ibn Hibbaan, 2/314; classed as hasan by Shaykh al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami’, 7341).

We do not mean, however, that this Muslim woman should cut herself off completely from the kaafir woman; she may visit with her, visit her when she is sick and give her gifts, but without forming an emotional attachment or joining in their festivals and celebrations. And the Muslim woman should aim, in those visits and gift-giving, to call this kaafir woman to Islam. This is what our Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) did, as is mentioned in two hadeeths:

1 – It was narrated from Sa’eed ibn al-Musayyib that his father said: “When Abu Taalib was on his deathbed, the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) entered upon him, and Abu Jahl and ‘Abd-Allaah ibn Abi Umayyah were present. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, ‘O uncle, say Laa ilaaha ill-Allaah, and I will plead for you before Allaah.’ Abu Jahl and ‘Abd-Allaah ibn Abi Umayyah said: ‘O Abu Taalib, will you turn away from the religion of ‘Abd al-Muttalib?’ The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: ‘I will keep on praying for forgiveness for you until I am forbidden (by Allaah) to do so.” Then the following aayah was revealed:

“It is not (proper) for the Prophet and those who believe to ask Allaah’s forgiveness for the Mushrikoon, even though they be of kin, after it has become clear to them that they are the dwellers of the Fire (because they died in a state of disbelief)”

[al-Tawbah 9:113]

Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 4398; Muslim, 24

2 – It was narrated that Anas (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: “There was a Jewish boy who used to serve the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), and he fell sick. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) came to visit him; he sat by his head and said, ‘Become Muslim.’ The boy looked at his father, who was present, and he (the father) said: ‘Obey Abu’l-Qaasim (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him).’ So he became Muslim, and the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) left, saying, ‘Praise be to Allaah Who has saved him from the Fire.’”

Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 1290.

The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) gave permission to Asma’ bint Abi Bakr to receive her mushrik mother (when she came to visit her), and ‘Umar (may Allaah be pleased with him) gave a gift of a garment to his mushrik brother.

It was narrated that Asma’ bint Abi Bakr (may Allaah be pleased with her) said: “My mother came to visit me at the time of the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), and she was a mushrik. So I consulted the Messenger of Allaah, (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and asked him, ‘My mother wants to visit me and expects me to treat her kindly; should I uphold the ties of kinship with my mother?’ He said, ‘Yes, uphold the ties of kinship with your mother.’”

Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 2477; Muslim, 1003

It was narrated that ‘Abd-Allaah ibn ‘Umar (may Allaah be pleased with them both) said: “ ‘Umar ibn al-Khattaab saw a silken garment being sold at the door of the mosque. He said, ‘O Messenger of Allaah, why don’t you buy it and wear it on Fridays and when the delegations come to you?’ He said, ‘This is worn by one who has no share in the Hereafter.’ Later on some silken garments were brought and the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) gave one to ‘Umar. He said, ‘Are you giving me this to wear when you said what you said about the garment of ‘Utaarid?’ He said, ‘I did not give it to you to wear.’ So ‘Umar gave it to a mushrik brother of his in Makkah to wear.”

Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 2470; Muslim 2068.

Shaykh Saalih al-Fawzaan said: There is nothing wrong with visiting kaafirs in order to call them to Islam. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) visited his paternal uncle Abu Taalib when he was dying and called him to Islam, and he visited the Jewish boy and called him to Islam.

But visiting kaafirs in order to have a good time with them is not permitted, because it is obligatory to hate them and shun them. It is permissible to accept their gifts because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) accepted gifts from some of the kaafirs, such as the gift from al-Muqawqis the ruler of Egypt. But it is not permissible to congratulate them on the occasion of their festivals because this implies befriending them and approving of their falsehood.

Al-Muntaqa min Fataawa al-Shaykh al-Fawzaan, 1/255

And Allaah knows best.

Islam Q&A



Aishah

[umm_maryam]

One of my best friends is non muslim. I know her for half my life. Since i first come to this country i met her and we part of grow together. We shared a lot togther, even for some time an appartment. She is one of the very few people from my pre Islamic time that i`m still in contact with. I don`t went to church for her wedding nor the babtization of her children. She don`t call or expect something for what they call easter or chrismas. We love each other dearly and she respect me for what i am. When i go to visit her , she even prepare special halal food. She and her husband was there for me in my darkest hours. I pray each day for ALLAH guide her and her family to Islam. May ALLAH make them Muslim. Ameen Yah Rabb

[DiamondLady Mema-Eemah]

Dinni: ARE YOUR BEST FRIENDS NON MUSLIMS?
The question is focused on "Best Friends" right.....well my BEST FRIEND is Muslim and I've known her for over 14 yrs., Mashallah!!....she is one of the first Muslimahs that I met after taking my Shahadah [smilie=23icon_mrgreen.gif].
And the majority of my "friends" are Muslims.

Now it is another story about the people that I grew up with....the ones that WERE my friends since we were young.....they are just that anymore, "people that I grew up with"....I barely hear from them, even though we are still in the same town.....the only time that we see eachother is either at a funeral, or the shopping center...and when that happens we TRY and catch up on what's been happening since the last time we saw eachother.....it is very brief [smilie=13confused.gif] .

The ones that I in constant contact with are Muslims......but if one of the Non-Muslims that I grew up with ever needed my assistance (like if they needed to "vent" or need advice...etc.).....InshaAllah I will try and be there for them and I would give them "sound advice" from an Islamic point of view, but in a way that they could understand.

Also, in Quran we are told to "be kind to our neighbors" ...and".....we are suppose to be "good examples to people", Muslim & Non-Muslim alike.


Naimah (eemah1) [smilie=kitty.gif]

[DiamondLady Mema-Eemah]

I forgot to mention that I didn't vote....there was not enough "choices".. [smilie=1224311icon_wink.gif].


Naimah (eemah1) [smilie=kitty.gif]

[Dinni]

Assalamualaikum Sisters,

WOW, thank you sister aishamommy for the input.
Also thank you all sisters who put their vote, answers and opinion on this issues.

Regards,
Dinni

[LaylahH]

Let me share my story. If a muslim woman had not befriended me almost two years ago I may not be a muslima today. I was VERY christian (born and raised) and she was VERY muslim. We connected on so many levels and became friends immediately. We talked about religion and felt comfortable enough with each other to ask questions about each others religion that we would probably not ask anyone else. I wasnt trying to convert her nor she me. I was really drawn to her because she NEVER critisized my faith or made any snide or condescending remarks about it and I didnt about her faith. See unknown to her, I was VERY curious about islam but never met a muslima that would give me the time of day because I was kufir or whatever.

To make a long story short, I am a muslima today mostly because my dear friend and sister Rabiyah befriended a kufir woman. I said my shahadah Jan 1, 2007 with Rabiyah and her mom and here I am today. [smilie=11281alhamdulillah.gif]

[bluesky]

[smilie=11281mashallah.gif] wow sis.

That is why I always try to have this attitude! I really don't like it when i see Muslims who are arrogant and proud. I think that defeats the whole purpose of being 'Muslim'.

So happy and inspired mash'Allah, to hear your story sis Layla!

[smilie=ahug.gif] [smilie=ahug.gif] [smilie=arock.gif] [smilie=kiss.gif] [smilie=loveshower.gif] [smilie=heart22.gif] [smilie=icon14.gif] [smilie=icon14.gif] [smilie=icon14.gif] [smilie=yw1b4cfbd.gif] [smilie=cheerleader.gif] [smilie=cheerleader.gif] [smilie=cheerleader.gif]

[Oum Anas]

I do not have non-muslims as best friends or friends, either. But I do have non-muslims as acquaintances (and family members and relatives), whom I do respect for who they are. I never snide at them or treat them inappropriately (but I may answer them with the same medicine as they might use - I'm only human).

I don't consider them as friends (we don't have enough in common - although some of them maybe still see me as their friend...?), I draw the line there.

I wish the best for them (Islam [smilie=1224311icon_wink.gif] ).

[Dinni]

Salam sister,


Sister Aishamommy, If I may ask your opinion, I am a bit confused about this one:


But visiting kaafirs in order to have a good time with them is not permitted, because it is obligatory to hate them and shun them.

Obligatory to HATE them? and SHUN them? Does this mean only to those who condesending to Islam or to any non muslim? When I was a child and learning Islam in Indonesia, we were thought not to be disrespectful to other religion and to show that we are peaceful and loving, just like the meaning of ISLAM itself.

Thank you in advance.
Regards,
Dinni

[umm_maryam]

I don`t agree with this point of view too ! But it is just a point of view, and our point of view is very different from. There is and hadith, but i don`t remember the details, may a sister help us there. The hadith say that our beloved prophet Mohamed was living once next door to a jew. This jew each morning put najassah ( pee / poop ) in front of his door out of hate. One morning he didn`t. And what did our beloved prophet ? He went to visit the jew who was sick and ask about him. The jew was so amazed that he immedieatly accepted Islam and took his Shahada.

Sis Laylah, I`m so happy to hear your story. Masha ALLAH. May ALLAH reward you and your friend. Ameen . I ask ALLAH each day for grant this for my friend too. Plz remember her and her family in your Duaa. Her name is Olivia.

[LaylahH]

Ok what or who do you consider Kufer? The Quran says that we are to respect the people of the book and the closest to us in love is the christians. If this is the case how do you justify hating?

[UmmRuwaidah]

As-salaamu Alaykum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakaatuhu,
I would have voted no but that option was not there. While in fact I do speak to some of my old friends before I converted to islam I do not call them my friends anymore.
Here a translation of what Allah saids in the Quran, Surah al Mujaadilah (58) ayat 22: You (O Muhammad SAW) will not find any people who believe in Allâh and the Last Day, making friendship with those who oppose Allâh and His Messenger (Muhammad SAW ), even though they were their fathers, or their sons, or their brothers, or their kindred (people). For such He has written Faith in their hearts, and strengthened them with Rûh (proofs, light and true guidance) from Himself. And We will admit them to Gardens (Paradise) under which rivers flow, to dwell therein (forever). Allâh is pleased with them, and they with Him. They are the Party of Allâh. Verily, it is the Party of Allâh that will be the successful.

It is our responsility as Muslims to be nice to our neighbors as the hadith states
(No. 5627 - Narrated 'Aisha: The Prophet said "Gabriel continued to recommend me about treating the neighbors Kindly and politely so much so that I thought he would order me to make them as my heirs.) but it is not promissible to make them our "Best Friends". We are on the religion of our close companion.
Al-Ma'idah - 5:51
O you who believe! Take not the Jews and the christians as Auliyâ' (friends, protectors, helpers, etc.), they are but Auliyâ' to one another. And if any amongst you takes them as Auliyâ', then surely he is one of them. Verily, Allâh guides not those people who are the Zâlimûn (polytheists and wrong­doers and unjust).

Allah tells us
Al-Baqarah - 2:109
Many of the people of the Scripture (Jews and christians) wish that if they could turn you away as disbelievers after you have believed, out of envy from their ownselves, even, after the truth (that Muhammad Peace be upon him is Allâh's Messenger) has become manifest unto them. But forgive and overlook, till Allâh brings His Command. Verily, Allâh is Able to do all things. (Al-Baqarah 2:109)

Al-Baqarah - 2:120
Never will the Jews nor the christians be pleased with you (O Muhammad Peace be upon him ) till you follow their religion. Say: "Verily, the Guidance of Allâh (i.e. Islâmic Monotheism) that is the (only) Guidance. And if you (O Muhammad Peace be upon him ) were to follow their (Jews and christians) desires after what you have received of Knowledge (i.e. the Qur'ân), then you would have against Allâh neither any Walî (protector or guardian) nor any helper. (Al-Baqarah 2:120)

Aali Imran - 3:110
You [true believers in Islâmic Monotheism, and real followers of Prophet Muhammad SAW and his Sunnah (legal ways, etc.)] are the best of peoples ever raised up for mankind; you enjoin Al-Ma'rûf (i.e. Islâmic Monotheism and all that Islâm has ordained) and forbid Al-Munkar (polytheism, disbelief and all that Islâm has forbidden), and you believe in Allâh. And had the people of the Scripture (Jews and christians) believed, it would have been better for them; among them are some who have faith, but most of them are Al-Fâsiqûn (disobedient to Allâh - and rebellious against Allâh's Command). (Aali Imran 3:110)

Surely He's not warning us in vain!

[Oum Anas]

This comes under the ruling of "Al-Walaa wal-Baraa' " (loyalty towards the believers and disavowal of the disbelievers). It is part of the declaration of Faith (Shahaadah)!

As for kufr, and who's a kaafir, this has been explained before on these boards (if any of the sisters remembers the thread or the link that was posted there, please mention it, jazaakunnAllah).

Kufr means covering up. Literally a farmer is a kaafir when he covers the seeds with soil.

A kaafir is someone who does not believe in Allah and His prophet Muhammad (sAas).

The people of the Book are kuffaar. They are not mushrikeen (polytheists), unless they believe in Trinity, but they are kuffaar none the less.

PS Jazaakillahu khayran, UmmRuwaidah, for the proofs you've posted.

May Allah guide us to please Him and none but Him, and may He make it easy for us to accept His Wisdom in all affairs, ameen.

[LaylahH]

Well obviously I didnt read that post. Kufir is a term that is thrown around quite losely. I know the definition but would like to hear hers. [smilie=12biggrin.gif]

All I can do is repeat my earlier post that I thank ALLAH that my friend didnt have these hateful attitudes toward christians and jews because like it or not we all serve the same GOD.

[UmmRuwaidah]

[smilie=111281salams.gif]I don't think the point that she was making is to hate a person for who they are but it's hating that they set up rivals to Allah i.e shirk. There are some really nice Christians and Jews in our world (May Allah guide them and rectify their contitions Ameen) and some Muslims who (May Allah Forgive them) might have worse characteristic.

Shirk al Mahabah is to show the Love that is due to Allah alone to others with or besides Him.
Allah Says which is translated
And of mankind are some who take (for worship) others besides Allâh as rivals (to Allâh). They love them as they love Allâh. But those who believe, love Allâh more (than anything else). If only, those who do wrong could see, when they will see the torment, that all power belongs to Allâh and that Allâh is Severe in punishment.

My point is that we are not only suppose to love for the sake of Allah but we are supposed to hate for the sake of Him as well.

[Hayfa]

Well I probably would have been one of those people who should have been shunned.. I actually had not thought about is there God for about the last 15 years.. I became friends with Moslems. They invited me into their homes when I went to Pakistan 3+ years ago. They took care of me. If they had not, I never would have become a Moslem. They led by example. What is being a Moslem all about? It woke me up. They welcomed me, they did not judge me. The judge should be Allah.

I read a biography of the Prophet (PBUH) by Tariq Ramadan. And some of his trusted advisors were from the Quarish..Sorry for the spelling. And really, were not all the first Moslems nonMoslems at one point? If those first Moslems just hid themselves away and not interact.. well would any of be here now? Did the Prophet (PBUH) not reach out to others? No he made efforts to help people learn about Islam.

Right now I live with my sister, and her family. All non-Moslems. And by living with them they learn not all Moslems are what they say on TV. (My sister is easy with this, but not my brother-in-law. They see we are the same and yet different.

Truly, how can you tell what is in anyone else's heart?

Most of the people I know are probably agnostic. They have it right.. they believe in God or a higher creator, the Divine. But do not believe in all the extra stuff that the Churches throw at them or that Jesus is God. They have that part correct. They are often disillusioned that Christian churches are not where they want to be. I understand that. I left the church mentally about age 7. Left it because I could at 18. There is so much mis-information out there about Islam. How can they learn about the true Islam?

Each person much decide for themselves if they are strong enough.. Like I can do karate with nonMoslems but I won’t go to a party with them. Obviously Allah calls to whom who he wants.. but sometimes the methods are in different ways.

Peace

[Hayfa]

oh.. my best friend of 20 years is a non-Moslem. when I finally told all firends and family I was a Moslem after three years in an email. She wrote to me and said, "I support you 100%".

[LoveIslam]

[smilie=111281salams.gif]

Well sisters, I personally have NO non-Mulsim friends. Why?? By choice. I never felt the same as I would with Muslim friends. And I remembe reading that we need to be careful who we choose for friends. Because most likely they will influence us.

Now, being best friends with someone is different then being kind to non-Muslims in general. Ofcourse we should be kind to nonMuslims. That is very clear. But having a nonMuslim as a best friend wouldnt work for me.

I have nonMuslim neighbors and my kids play with their kids. They are kind and good people. And we get along just fine. And if she needed help or something i would help. But i know we cant be best friends because i am too different from her. I can only be Best friends with someone who is as religious as me. I mean I need to do that for myself. I know it helps me to be a stronger and more motivated Muslim.

Actually, this doesn't just apply to non Muslims, it applies to some Muslims as well. The Muslims who don't practice or doesn't behave Islamically. I wouldnt have them as Best Friends either. It is not worth it to me to share my life with someone who doesnt practice Islam. Islam is the most important thing to me and my best friend has to love and obey it as much as i want to, otherwise we dont have much in common.

w/Salaam
Narmi

[Dinni]

Salam sisters,

First of all, Jazaakillahu khayran Umm Ruwaydah for providing the proof. So glad you still here, what am I gonna do without you?? [smilie=122529icon_sad.gif]

Then, this is the second time I did this in a poll. I thought I put 3 choices, seriously. I thought I had put a NO choice also, but somehow it wasnt there???

Last, thank you to all sisters for the input in this. I totally understand now why we need to draw the line of choosing your friends. As some sisters point out, being a friend, a best friend or just friendly is a whole different things.

I certainly will still be nice to my newfound Christian friend, to a certain degree, but that's it. I'm kinda glad I'm moving away from this area, it will make it easier for both of us to distance ourselves. Wallahualam, perhaps this is ALLAH's doing for what's best for me and my family.

Insha ALLAH, we will be guide to the right path.

Regards,
Dinni

[nanny]

salam,Dinni see that ur freind doesnot mesmerize ur mind.we may never no throughwat way saitan may work inour mind.may allah guideus in the right pathAameen.don,t ever show interest in reading christianbook.as amuslim instead of preaching we should practice ourself.i no many men in myfamilywho r very religious but wen come to their kid sorry to say girls move without covering ,boys do pray but a limit. except for jummah they never enter masjid.father and mother both read quran but children?
why this happen?simply it wat we feel regarding children,oh they r small,let them enjoy.they will learn wen they grow.people forget,that plant r easy to turn in any position .but it become a tree wecan,t move an inch.childen r the same we must teach the rout of islam wen they r plant.before they become a tree.(sorry am i going out of way?wa t iwas going to say that we muslim should attract nonmuslim and nonpracticingmuslim ,through our islamic ways.we do our duties of our neighbour,we give sadaqa,we say salam,we help someone in need.wen travelling we show our islamic manners,so and so. we teach our children do the same.they may wonder,why these muslim r so good.wat does their
religion say. naturally they will be intrested in learning islam.it is said islam spread whole over the world due to islamic manner of sahabas.
just imajin to take a wife, maharm should be given to the girl and she is the sole owner of it.any property she has.she neednot even spent it on her husband or children ,it is the duty of the men.see how much freedom Allah has given to women.islam is the true religion

[amirah85]

all this is a bit confusing.are we suppose to hate our non-muslim parents but treat them kindly?isn't this ipocrisy?I don't have nn muslim friends 'cos I just don't share many interest and other staff,but I try to treat kindly nn muslim so that insha'allah one day alah will bring them on the right way,especially my family!

[LoveIslam]

all this is a bit confusing.are we suppose to hate our non-muslim parents but treat them kindly?

Ok...did i miss something here?? Who said to hate anyone especially your parents whether they are Muslim or not! Islam stresses kindness to parents more times than i can remember in the Quran. So please, dont get such assumptions.

Also, we are NOT suppose to HATE nonMuslims. If we were, then why do we have interfaith dialogues in Masjids...so we can hate them?? or to better get along??

Its clear...you do NOT hate nonMuslims and you treat them kindly. As far as making them your BEST FRIEND....its obvious that you would need to have more in common to be BEST FRIENDS....that is TOTALLY different then being just friends. It is common sense to me.

w/Salaam

[Ummi_to_Siraj]

[smilie=111281salams.gif]

Unfortunately almost all of my friends are non-Muslim. But that is not by choice, because there are no other Muslims here where I live. I actually met 3 in December, but one moved out of state, one does not cover and has a boyfriend [smilie=11281astaghfirullah.gif] , and the other we are good friends, but we really don't have much in common so we speak on the phone occasionally but because I don't have a car and she does not drive far (I live kind of away from her) we have not seen each other since December. And my friends from Ohio, well we lost touch with each other since I moved here, so I dont have any close Muslim friends except for here [smilie=15icon_cry.gif] [smilie=12biggrin.gif] .

[LaylahH]

I had something all written out to post but erased it. It saddens me that we can twist the words of the prophet (pbuh) to segregate ourselves and hate. Hate has no place in this world period. [smilie=122529icon_sad.gif]

[ammena]

Salam, I have 3 good friends who are non muslim, 2 i met after becoming muslim... i have no issues with them, they understand me and i understand them. One of my friends is my best bud from school... but I also have alot more best friends who are muslim and these girls I keep close to me heart fro different reasons Allahu alim

[Teresa]

Good morning sisters. I have been following this thread and really trying to digest the information presented. Some of it is disturbing since I have felt that I was forming friendships with several of you here on the board. To find that you're commanded to not be my friend is a bit off-setting.

Quote: Al-Ma'idah - 5:51
O you who believe! Take not the Jews and the christians as Auliyâ' (friends, protectors, helpers, etc.), they are but Auliyâ' to one another. And if any amongst you takes them as Auliyâ', then surely he is one of them. Verily, Allâh guides not those people who are the Zâlimûn (polytheists and wrong­doers and unjust). "

I have many "acquaintances" who I also consider to be my friends, but we don't share the same religious beliefs. Some of them are Catholic, some are Baptist, some are agnostic. We don't try to insist that our religious views are the correct ones. We accept our differences for what they are and realize that those differences are some of the things that make us who we are. There are others within my own religious circle who I don't consider to be my friends, for some of the same reasons that you have mentioned. They're not friendly to others, they look down on those who have different views, or they are full of self-pride for thinking they have it right. That's not what anyone of any faith should be doing or how they should be acting. Allah instructs us to love each other as He has loved us.

Quote: Al-Baqarah - 2:120
Never will the Jews nor the christians be pleased with you (O Muhammad Peace be upon him ) till you follow their religion. Say: "Verily, the Guidance of Allâh (i.e. Islâmic Monotheism) that is the (only) Guidance. And if you (O Muhammad Peace be upon him ) were to follow their (Jews and christians) desires after what you have received of Knowledge (i.e. the Qur'ân), then you would have against Allâh neither any Walî (protector or guardian) nor any helper. (Al-Baqarah 2:120)

I don't think this would apply to every person who is a Jew or Christian. I am not trying to convert anyone on this board. I pray for you, I respect you, and I enjoy our "friendship" and time of sharing here. Your religion is what makes you "you" and I wouldn't dream of trying to change that.

Quote: My point is that we are not only suppose to love for the sake of Allah but we are supposed to hate for the sake of Him as well.

Ouch! But, I have to say that this is taught by some Christian scholars as well. I agree there are times when this is something that makes sense - evil doers, rapists, murderers, etc. may fall into this category. But, as a general rule I always interpreted this to mean the actions and not the individuals. If we hated the individuals, they would have no opportunity to repent from their deeds and receive forgiveness. If they were only hated then they would not be presented with opportunities because they would be shunned and hated by all. Does that make sense?

Quote: Each person much decide for themselves if they are strong enough.. Like I can do karate with nonMoslems but I won’t go to a party with them. Obviously Allah calls to whom who he wants.. but sometimes the methods are in different ways.

Very well put. I don't go to parties either. I dress in a way that is modest and covered (obviously, not as covered as in Islam, but very covered from a non-Muslim point of view) and I don't frequent bars, parties, or places where the music and patrons are drunk and/or disorderly. If I did, and since I respect my Muslim friends (even though I only have online friends), I wouldn't even think to invite them to establishments such as these. On another note, I would have no problem inviting a Muslim friend to my house and I would endeavor to make sure she was comfortable with being there. I would not serve pork or alcohol and would not have music or TV blasting things that would make her uneasy. I may have my Bible out but I wouldn't put it out purposely to bring her attention to it. By the same token, I would hope that my Muslim friends would feel comfortable enough to invite me into her home for a time for friendship and fellowship.

I think I have everything covered that I wanted to say. I sincerely hope that you all understand that I'm not saying anything bad about Islam and I respect that we all have different views. I just don't happen to agree with hating all who are not of the same religious viewpoint as me.

[DiamondLady Mema-Eemah]

I think I have everything covered that I wanted to say. I sincerely hope that you all understand that I'm not saying anything bad about Islam and I respect that we all have different views. I just don't happen to agree with hating all who are not of the same religious viewpoint as me.
You have made your point "as clear as clear could be" and I commend you for doing so Teresa......
And I would also like to add that there is an Ayat (verse) in Quran that states that there will be Christians & Jews that will be in Paradise.....so what is that telling us......I think it is Surah 3 (chapter) Ayats 198-199.

It goes as follows:
".....On the other hand, for those Who Fear their Lord, are Gardens, with rivers flowing beneath; therein are they to dwell forever....
An entertainment from ALLAH, and that which is from ALLAH is the best bliss for the Righteous....."

".......and there are, cetainly, among the Peaople of the Book, those who believe in ALLAH, in the Revelation to you, and in hte Revelation to them....
Bowing in humility to ALLAH:.....They will not sell the Signs of ALLAH for a miserable gain!
For them is a reward with their Lord, and ALLAH is swift in account....."

That to me, says that if they love ALLAH THAT MUCH, they will be of those in Paradise.....InshaAllah.


Naimah (eemah1) [smilie=kitty.gif]

[LaylahH]

Teresa do know that not all of us follow the train of thought that promotes hate and intolerance. I would welcome your friendship anyday. Its all about respecting ones beliefs. Also when looking at islam remember that alot thats said to be islam is indeed cultural and so not islam. Please stay and dialog with us. [smilie=12biggrin.gif]

[Leihalaa]

[smilie=111281salams.gif] ,

I have 1 best friend she isnt a muslim and i have a few very good friends that also arent muslim. These women are very dear to me and inshallah one day i pray they will become muslim. These women are very open minded and we can have religious conversations without it blowing up.
I agree with other sisters that if I wasn't friends with other muslims i wouldnt even had looked into Islam.

aloha leila

[faces2paint]

Sis Theresa,
Alhamdulillah, not all people of Muslim faith are so narrow minded as to believe we should hate people of other religions or should not befriend them!
Unfortunately, there are some who decide that some ruling, translation, opinion of a scholar is somehow divine law and not merely a human beings own interpretation.
Alhamdulillah Allah gave us each our own brain, and while we can learn from others experiences, advise, even fatwa...we should never blindly follow any other human being, just because of his educational qualifications or family lineage.
My best friend is one of my cousins, who happens to be a very devout Christian. That's why she's my friend, because of her strong relationship with God. She has morals and family values. And she inspires me to be closer to Allah.

[faces2paint]

Aishah,
Did you read all of your copied text before posting it?

[faces2paint]

Aishah,
Did you read all of your copied text before posting it?

[Umm Yehiya]

Ladies, I mean this will all due respect. I really don't want to **** anyone off or offend them! I'm not an argumentative person - but it does make my heart pound when I hear something that I think is not correct - I feel that I should state what I believe is correct, insha'allah.


It is human nature to love other human beings that are close to us on a personal level - parents, friends, other relatives. I once had one EXTREMELY strict muslim woman tell me I should separate myself from my parents and not love them in my heart - only do my duty to them as a daughter - because they are non-muslim. She was very convincing, and I cried.

Later, through talking to my husband & some friends I saw another point of view: that you cannot stop loving certain people because of your relationship to them - and that is your nature.

HOWEVER - you can dislike what they DO. You can dislike the fact that they are worshipping other than Allah and not FOLLOWING his divine decree. You can pray that they are guided and wish the best for them.

Sisters, be very careful - do not jump to conclusions that the word "hate" is a manmade one; Allah uses it in the Qur'an. This is an enormous topic and unfortunately I don't have time to delve into it right now - but I just want to say, know that the word hate is inded used - AND we must ALSO know the CONTEXT. Context is of ultimate importance. I don't want to go further than that at the moment -because it is a sin to speak without knowledge. I would have to go look up some Qur'an in order to give examples.

Also, it is not correct that non-muslims will be in Paradise. Again, know the context of the verses you are quoting.


Ayat 3:198 and 199 read as follows:

But for those who fear their Lord are Gardens beneath which rivers flow - abiding in it for ever - the hospitality from their Lord; and that which is with Allah, is the best for the righteous

And undoubtedly there are some among the People given the Book(s), who accept faith in Allah and what is sent down to you and what was sent down to them - their hearts are submitted humbly before Allah - they do not exchange the verses of Allah for an abject price; they are those whose reward is with their Lord; indeed Allah is Swift At Taking Account.

I am no scholar but I've read a bit about the subject, alhamdulileh.

The problem is that when non-muslims say "Lord," they ALSO mean Jesus. Islam is the only religion that a) recognizes Allah as the ONE true God and b) FOLLOWS his orders.

The very same surah (3:85) says:

And whoever seeks a religion other than Islaam, it will never be accepted of him, and in the Hereafter he will be one of the losers." [Aal ‘Imraan 3:85]

The second problem with saying non-muslims will be in paradise according to this:

And undoubtedly there are some among the People given the Book(s), who accept faith in Allah and what is sent down to you and what was sent down to them
is IN MY OWN UNDERSTANDING that:

a) these "people of the book" referred to by Allah might have been BEFORE Islam came as a complete religion from Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him)
and/or
b) these "people of the book," upon receiving the truth, may have become muslims - either outwardly, or inwardly, if they were in a land oppressed.

In any case, by "accepting faith" it means that they entered the fold of Islam, in my understanding.

The point is, the ones who receives the pleasure of Paradise are the ones with correct Aqidah (belief) that Allah is the one true God - and that follow His decreed religion of Islam, which was chosen for all of humanity.

Please see the following link for further clarification. But again, note this is an enormous subject.

http://islamqa.com/index.php?ref=434&ln=eng&txt=non-muslims%20in%20paradise

Anything correct I've said is from Allah; anything incorrect is from me. Istaghfirallah.

[Teresa]

The problem is that when non-muslims say "Lord," they ALSO mean Jesus. Islam is the only religion that a) recognizes Allah as the ONE true God and b) FOLLOWS his orders.

Aha... but in my case, I mean our Heavenly Father, God, Allah. I don't happen to believe that Jesus is god. I do believe that he is the son of God but not god or even equal to Him.

[Umm Yehiya]

Hmmm, so Teresa do you believe in the Trinity?
Just curious. [smilie=happy.gif]
I TOTALLY appreciate your openness, patience & acceptance, by the way!
You're a very peaceful person. :)

[Teresa]

No, not the way it's traditionally taught. I believe in God the Father (Allah), His son, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit. I do not believe they are "three in one" but I believe they are three separate and make up one unit - much as a husband and wife are two separate people who make up the family unit.

[DiamondLady Mema-Eemah]

ALLAH Forgive Me, if I have said ANYTHING "out of context".....Truly, all that is Good comes from ALLAH......and anything "wrong" comes from Myself.



".......and there are, cetainly, among the People of the Book, those who believe in ALLAH, in the Revelation to you, and in the Revelation to them.... 3:199
MY understanding of this is: .......they have to believe what was sent to them from their Prophet (from Jesus & Moses), the True Religion of that Prophet in that Era.......and what was sent to Us (from Muhammand ....saws).....they have to believe in it all....
All the Prophets (May ALLAH be Pleased with them)......came with the same Message......"To Believe in One GOD"....and "Submit Only to GOD".....not to any Man or Object.....
.....Back in Jesus' Era.....He NEVER called himself GOD or even the Son of GOD.....He merely said that He was GOD's Messenger (to his People), He never led them to believe He was anything other then that...
.....Back in Moses' Era.....He NEVER led His People to believe other then what GOD sent to Him.......and those People of THAT ERA that followed the teachings of THOSE Prophets are to be considered Righteous People.
So from my understanding.....if anyone TODAY...follows the TRUE Message that was given to Jesus (as) & Moses (as).....the same Message that THEY taught to Their People Back then.....(Not anything made up or tampered with)....then they are to be considered "Righteous People"...... Plz Anyone, correct me if I am wrong......I am not beyond being "Corrected"..... [smilie=23icon_mrgreen.gif].


Growing up as a Christian.....I was always told & I always heard from other Christians....that if you were not a Christian you would not go to Paradise........and after I took my Shahadah I was still being told that, I can go to ANY Christian that I know, today....and they will tell me that.

Naimah (eemah1) [smilie=kitty.gif]

[Leihalaa]

[smilie=111281salams.gif] ,

With many christian sects not all believe the same and not all believe in the trinity. All of my friends don't.

aloha leila

[LaylahH]

http://youtube.com/watch?v=EpsQaY5oH2c

Very interesting piece on muslims befriending christians and jews.

[UmmNadia]

assalamu alaikum, my neighbor who has a son my daughter's age and i are like pretty much best friends and she is not muslim, but the majority of my other friends are muslimas. i have nothing against being close friends with nonmuslims, i am still in close touch with 3 childhood friends who are nonmuslims. alhamdulillah :)