do you think its approproate to call ur spouse by his name

[ummi2mybabies]

aoa sisters i was ust wondering do you think its appropriate to call your husband by his first name in front of your friends ? i know with dh and his friends they call me bhabi and vice versa they know my name but never call me by it .

i feel so uncomfortable to call dh by his first name in front of others unless me and my friend are really close then its ok . but if its not someone ur close with i prefer not to . ie like chat friends or the forum . i just think its kind of private for some reason . i know no one dh works wth knows me by my first name . do u think that is strange?

[DiamondLady Mema-Eemah]

Everybody in the Community knows my husband & myself....so we feel like they are family and therefore we call eachother by Our names....and sometimes when we are REAL comfortable, we will even throw in a "Babe" or two [smilie=awink2.gif] .......and I see other couples do the same.


Naimah (eemah1) [smilie=kitty.gif]

[Humayraa]

It never occured to me to call dh anything but his first name. Online I refer to him as "dh" cuz it's easier for me.

[bluesky]

I think it's just a cultural thing sisters. Sis Asya is talking about something which is very prelevant in my culture anyway. When I fist got married, my mom told me NOT to call my dh by his name. I thought that was just one of the silliest things that I had ever heard. Lol..... can you believe it took me more than 10yrs to get over it! I still don't call him by his name, just tell the children to 'call their dad'. However, I don't have a problem calling him, when I need to, which was an issue for me years ago.

I got over it, when this issue was discussed with my best friends. I'd never thought to research this, as in religious terms. From what I am aware, there is nothing in Islam that advocates this. It turned out, all 3 of my bf's call their dh's by name. [smilie=13confused.gif] A case of just another tradition, that seems to be dying out for us, 'young Muslim Brits'?

[ummi2mybabies]

aoa sis jamilah ur kind of half right we shall say
i call my husband by his name alwas or his nick names however when im speakign with one of my friends about him i dont call him by his first name i say hubby or my husband . i feel weird . i guess it wa s a learned habit that i had learned from my ex the pakistani guy he said always you shouldnt call me by name in front of other women . but come to think of it i ddnt do that with youssef father either i never called him by his first name when iw as reffering to him by my friends
i dont know maybe im freaking weird loooooooooooool

[mura]

Asalaamu alaikum.

In the town where I live most women say AbuHamza or AbuKhalid or Abuwhatever when they talk about their husbands. Some women even call each other UmSarah or UmYasmine or Umwhatever to each other. It seems cultural to me because the community is largely from one country overseas.

I usually just say my husband. We haven't really been in a lot of situations with other Muslims where I would use his name anyway.

In fact, I don't call him by his name very often when we are alone. Usually it happens when I call him from the other room or if I am irritated with him! He has little pet names for me, but I'm just not that kind of person. He's getting used to that but I know he would like for me to call him Sweetie or Honey or something.

Salaams.

[umm_maryam]

Honestly, i don`t care. But for people who are not comfortable with, use the kunjah. I love my kunjah.

But i know from egypt that are some among them not feel comfortable to call their wifes by name in front of non family members. They don`t want to know them their wifes names. What i saw many times is when a men wanted to call his wife, instead of calling her name he used to call his own.

[Teresa]

Very interesting and I've never thought about it before. You know I have already told you all my dh's name and I use it a lot. We're very personable people and refer to each other by first name once we've gotten past the "my husband, Ron" or "my wife, Teresa" stage with people.

We have some friends who only refer to each other as "my husband" or "my wife" in mixed crowds and it always sounds a little strange as the crowd consists mostly of friends and acquaintances. I guess maybe that's just what they got used to doing so it's natural for them. When they're alone with us at our house or out somewhere, they use their first names.

[Umm Ahmad]

Since my dh is a year younger to me , it NEVER EVER occured to me that i shouldn't call him by his first name, even though my mom forbade me from it ( just like ur mom, sis Jamila !) AND my mom in laws plus all the other women in dh's family dont call their hubs by their first names. Honestly i couldn't be more bothered with what ppl around me thought, i just did what was MOST comfortable for me , which was just calling him by his 1st name regardless of who was around to hear it.
And no nicknames b/w us......though i always loved endearments but he was just waayyyyyy to uncomfortable with it , so i just let it go & now i can't use nicknames for him even if we are alone etc, it would just feel so wierd !! lol !

[miss helouah]

this is something i have never thought about before.. i have always used dh's first name in public, even when i was in his country.. I know they use abu and umm down there, but they didnt seem to care if i said abumaria (back then) or his name

[Jamilah]

salaam!

To be honest I never thought about it.. and now to think of it I just say my husband to everyone, but i must say that one day a family close did ask what my husbands name was and I looked at her strange and she said that I never told her his name.... LOL Silly me!!

[bunny]

oops, i didn't read the entire question b4 voting. I said 'yes' but I meant to say, it depends on the others.

I see absolutely nothing wrong with calling each other by first names b/c to me respect is not just in a title, but in how u talk to each other and in Islam, we are partners and equals.

However, i do sometimes avoid saying his name in front of some ppl b/c they frown upon it. my mom doesn't like it, but has gotten used to it b/c my bro's wife does the same (upon his request) so sometimes in front of her, i use my dh's name and sometimes not.

And when ppl ask me why I call him by his name I tell them, that's his name and he told me to call him that- don't ask me to disobey him now. [smilie=12biggrin.gif]

I really hate the desi culture of not calling ur husband anything- everyone else has a title of respect like aunty or 'brother/sister" but for the husband it's "you" which is supposed to be respectful?? And for someone that you're THAT close and intimate w/ I feel like not calling them their name puts distance. Maybe they got this culture from the Hindus, Allahu Alim.

[mexy1]

[smilie=111281salams.gif]
It wouldn't bother me to call him by his first name, when I talk to other people I say my husband, when I call him I call him baba except when I am mad then I call him by his name.

[Ek Ajnabia]

[smilie=111281salams.gif]
well in desi culture you dont address your elders by name out of respect dh in cluded- i call my dh by name but not other elders , i call em aunties sisters or umm so and so - again different cultures will have different ways of addressing in this situation.

[Razzanah]

[smilie=111281salams.gif] I call my zewj by his muslim name and I gave him a nickname that i call him [smilie=12biggrin.gif]

[LoveIslam]

i think it is appropriate because there really isnt anything wrong with it...but since we are not used to it...i hardly ever do. I call him by various names that i am more comfortable with. Actually, when we get married we are suppose to put a name on each other as a sign of respect. So, we call each other that.

[ummThalaatha]

well at this point no still has 0%, so i guess most people agree that its not wrong or something. subhanAllah i have never thought about it before...its really sort of weird to me like honestly when i saw the post before reading it i was like what kind of stupid question is that ((im sorry!!!!) like its disrespectful or something to call your husband his name.. its his name what else should u call him sir? but yea , i guess most people around here do 'abuwhatevr' and umwhatever, and even if theyve been to hajj, its 'hajji abu yousef' for example. as a joke we call my father in law hajji bob lol cuz my inlaws are such sellouts.. his GIVEN name is abdul wahab, but he goes by wahab (haram!) and when he works around americans, its just 'bob'.. hence hajji bob (he hates that lol)

[x7anooonah]

Your right it is a cultural thing. In SAudi it would be rude to call him out by his name or me by my name. I would be um Talal.

[criterion]

[smilie=111281salams.gif]in my Home country,the Muslim Community usually refer to their husbands as'Abu ...so so&so.Even the men call their wives"ummu......". [smilie=20icon_rolleyes.gif] .To me,that's very,very old fashioned!I am aware it is Islamcally accepted to even have pet names for each other.
The cultural aspect cannot be overlooked because despite the level of enlightenment,some wives dare not call their husbands by name in the presence of her in-laws.
My hubby calls me by my name or a pet name& it's vice versa.On this forum however,I refer to hi m as'hubby' mostly.But when am talking about him to people who knows him"my husband sounds very awkward to me,so I refer to him by his name. Ever since we've been married,this year's the the time I've referred to him as" my husband" the most.It's kindda unsual for me!

The reason I said it depends is because,I try to imagine older men taking Thulaatha or Ruba'an.In such cases,the wife would be obliged to refer to her husband as something else besides pet names & real names,because of the age difference.I imagine wives of Imams & scholars calling them by title or something! [smilie=20icon_rolleyes.gif] .

[Umm Yehiya]

Sure, why not?

[ummThalaatha]

I imagine wives of Imams & scholars calling them by title or something!

lol good question , my friend's dad was an imam (rahimahullah) ill have to ask her

[Dinni]

Salam sister,
What a interesting subject...
In my country, it is encourage to call your husband with a loving name...

My hubby and I never call each other by the first name, he actually doesnt like it when I called him by his first name..
I found out when we were out in public, I think it was on base, I was far away from him and have to shout to call him..
I was like, : HOOOOOOOOOONNN....but then five hundreds other soldiers heads were turning to me, so I called out his first name..
He looked at me with a pout and told me later in the car that he doesnt like it when he call me with his first name....
Oh well, so we call each other, huney, baby, habibi, dear, you know...stuff like that...

Regards,
Dinni

[muslimah85]

I would love to call dh by his name ( i dont have the habit now, even if i wanna call him), but in our society its not good. So, i just call him short forms

[dinah]

we use alot of arabic gesture here for name calling to get attention otherwise Id call him pet names like choclate yum yum...honey bear on and on

[UmmBarakah]

theres not hiding my hubbies name because its my daughters last name and its attached to all my messages, but my hubby and i don't use our names, we never have and now after 3 years we find it odd using our names, when we got married we would joke about how desi women would not use their hubbies names and we started teasing each other by calling each other miya (husband) biwi (wife) and it just stuck so now he is miya and i am biwi ( this is in urdu for anyone who doesn't know) over the years we have added a few more names to the list for each other, right now we call each other matey ( as in friend) in england people call their friends mate, hence matey ( i know it sounds like something a pirate would say, arr me matey but it works for us)

[x7anooonah]

i call my dh by his name and he dont mind and he always calls me mine as well unless were around all Saudis then im umm talal just bc its more cultural.. Saudis sooooooooo old fashioned

[UmmHend]

Asalamuaekom
Chocolate yum yum, that's the cutest thing i ever heard! I think im gonna start calling my DH Caramel Yum Yum (he's arabic, so not quite dark enough to be chocolate... unless its Caramilk)

I call him by a nickname, and he calls me the same thing i call him LOL i always feel weird when i call him that in front of people!! (its not "Baby" or anything usual like that, i hate Baby and we never used that LOL i always cringe when i hear it.. no offense, just my personal weirdness)

Im gonna start calling him Abo Hamza though, not because of culture, because i think he is adorable as that! (cos he's the father of my son, and that gives me warm fuzzy feelings) I LOVE his first name though, but i rarely ever use it. He doesnt use mine either ;) Im gonna tell him to start calling me Umm Hend hehe

PS i realised i DO call him by his first name when refering to him when talking to mine or his family or friends (not that either of us ever talk to each others friends LOL)

[OomHaleemah]

`Assalamu `Alaykum Ukhti,


I imagine wives of Imams & scholars calling them by title or something!

Lol my zawj is Imaam but I always call him by his pet name (which is "Pookie") at all times.
Everone calls my zawj 'Pookie' even his mother does this also !
Only in a public setting where people do not know us, like another state or country do I call him Ahmaad, like when we went on Hajj I called him Ahmaad.
But I never call him Imaam Ahmaad or Sheikh Ahmaad or anything lol

[Shoane]

i call him by his nick but in front of his family i call him by his name n in front of my family i tell " he did this or that " coz like others my mom told not to call him by his name

[Muslimah2008]

:salam:

Sure, why not? There's nothing wrong in that. I do call my hubby by his name (most times anyway).

If its not allowed, someone please correct me!?!?!



Hanan

[anisa_reyyan]

I can't imagine NOT calling him by his name. I also call him honey, sweetheart and when involving the boys, Daddy. Most people call him Steve, but I actually don't like that name, and refer to him as his full name - Stephen. And when I'm really mad, I do much like I do with the kids - he gets his full name!

[Azmeerah4Islam]

AssalamAlaykum,

I know in some culture's its strange to call your DH by his name ; although I always have called him Jarryd or Jay - he wouldn't understand why I wouldn't call him that in public lol.

[serenity101]

assalmau alaikum,

I call hiim Brother so n so. in and out of public

serenity101

[old woman in the shoe]

I call my husband his name to his face but with other people I say my husband but only cuz I like to and nothing to do with his or my culture. But in Malaysia everyone in the family has a title so they find it odd for someone to call their in-laws by their names and I got into trouble for that ..I mean the sister and brother in laws. Calling him by his name seemed strange there since everyone was calling him by a title. Instead of saying aunt or uncle they are called father or mother and then part of their name. Was really weird for me. Maybe someone on here who is malay could explain it better.

[Aneesah8]

:salam:

I usually say Rasheed/Sheed in public, or I say "My husband" when its appropriate. But yep, I usually refer to him by his name masha'Allah.

[Hanifahs mama]

I wouldnt call my husband anything but his name in front of other people.

[Luisana]

nope for us it's just "sweetie" and "babe" sometime "hun" but thats it. I have NEVER called him by his first name, it's so weird. maybe its cuz I can bearlypronounce it, but mine is easy for him to pronounce and he still doenst call me by that.