Realations with spouses family

[ummi2mybabies]

As salaam alakium sisters

As muslims it is our duty to keep good family relations . How do we do that ? Many of us have marriages with someone of a diffrent culture , so thus we have cultural diffrences, or we have language barriers . Do we keep regularly in touch with your spouses families? are we kind towards them . Do we try to involve in decisions which are of the whole family even though we are just an in law?

Alhumdulilah i have good relations with my in laws. Im very very thankful for that . IF our husbands see us being kind and warm to their family it makes them pleased with us. My in laws live in india , I call my mother in law every saturday and or sunday like clock work . even if something came up i didnt call her she becomes very worried . I remember when my husband had annouced to them we were going to marry it was so hard for them to understand i wasnt indian i think mom finally understood 2 days before our marriage. alhumdulilah when he announced to them i spoke with them online and in phone calls they were very loving and welcoming to their family .I found in this culture it is not common to let in laws know what is going on in the family is there is a problem or anything . But alhumdulilah my mother in law talk to me about everything even before dh . I found my sister in law had a marriage proposal and they want my opinion in this matter i was very honored as well as shocked that they included me . alhumdulilah it made me feel as if i really am part of their family .after marriage when i went to visit my parents even ammi jaan would call me to see how i was. she is very kind alhumdulilah and so is my father in law and i ave quite a close relationship with my husbands youngest sister. In every effort we should try to please our in laws, wether they are here in the same country or not . Or we face cultural diffrences, i think even now i speak to ammi jaan and know more about what is going on in india then dh ;D . so when ever he wants to know something he just asks me subhanAllah . H e also has a very good relationship with my parents who are non muslims. always calling them to see how they are doing or if they need anything alhumdulilah i have a very good husband mashAllah . so how do we keep up the lines of communication between the families. any of you experience bad things with the in laws or good things would love to hear your story .

[umm_maryam]

Assalamu Aleikum Wa Rahmetullahi Wa Barakatuh

You know my story. But during the time i was married and we stayed in egypt, i have had good relationship with my former in laws.

Wa Aleikum Salam Wa Rahmetullahi Wa Barakatuh

umm maryam [sis]

[Gerbila]

I'm blessed to get along well with my husband's family. My in-laws live on our road only a half mile from us. The only one hard to get along with is husband's sister but she lives 400 miles away and come to visit with her husband only a couple of times per year.

[Iman]

as salaamu `alaykum wa rahmatullaahi wa barakaatuh!

I have a good relationship with my in-laws alhamdulillah. We come from different cultures - I come from a Malay/Arab (no, we don't speak Arabic more is the pity!) family and my husband, Pakistani. It helped that my husband and I lived on our own in the first couple of years so we got to know each other in our own time and space. When we moved to Pakistan - my firstborn was about 2-1/2 years old - I was really apprehensive about living in the same house. I was used to having my own place so I admit, I didn't look forward to it.

Alhamdulillah, my in-laws, without my saying anything, were determined to set me at ease and let us have the upper floor of their house to ourselves. I had my own kitchen too ma shaa Allah. This was something a little out of the ordinary in Pakistani culture. They never imposed anything upon me and really let me live my own life. Still, we would spend time a lot of time together on a daily basis - during some meals (even that was no obligation), outings or just sitting around each day, talking.

I think the biggest factor in our good relationship is Islam - my in-laws place Islam above everything else and refuse to be bound by traditions and cultural norms that are often the cause of friction among in-laws. They respect our space and do not hold grudges or resentment over any differences.

I would still prefer to have my own place if I ever move back there - it is just how I am - but living with my in-laws, I admit, gives me the best of both worlds in that I have family and space.

[MaisMuslimah]

Alhumdulilah, I am in good relation with my in-laws. My Mother-in-law encouraged my husband to marry me after she prayed Istakhada. She only speaks Arabic so it's hard for us to communicate but I'm learning so I speak to her on the phone regularly. She prays on the phone for me and I sing her Arabic songs. ;D

[DiamondLady Mema-Eemah]

Alhamdullilah, I have very good relations with my In-Laws.

That is very important to me because I am very big on family....... [loveshower]


Naimah (eemah1) [kitty]

[muslimamom]

AOA,
Sis Naimah, getting along with the inlaws in very important to me too. I don't know what I would do if we didn't. :cry:

[mush]

i have ok relation with my in-laws..am not very fond of them ..asthagfirullah..but we call up every friday to speak to them..

masha alah ..so many sis have gud relations with their in-laws..u dont know how lucky u guys r..mashallah

[fragrance]

alhamdulillah i have good relations with my inlaws.

at first i was very apprehensive about my mil- (i dont have a f-i-l. ) since i come from a different community even though we both r indians and in their community they dont marry outside their community.
but after marriage she just put me at ease. if im wrong, she explains to me in a nice manner. if she tells me to do something and i forget she just does not tell nything, she does it by herself and make me love her more and respect her more.
unfortunately i dont stay with her. she stays in india but we do talk on the phone every week.

[muslimamom]

AOA,
Fragrance that is nice that your mil does not make an issue if you forget. I am glad too that there is not an issue with you being from a different community. I am sure that this issue may cause problems with some in laws, but Alhumduiallah not with yours. And Mashallah you are both from India and I am sure that is the main concern and not so much with which community you came from Inshallah. I have friends from India and Pakistan and they both are married to men that are from their same village. And now I am seeing more, since you posted your coment that this is very comon for people to marry from their own community Mashallah.

[MelissaS]

Salam alaikum

I picked 'limited communication' as they speak another language than I do, and so it's difficult to talk to them. But, we're on good terms, Alhumdulilah. I am blessed to have such good in-laws. Of course we've had some bumps but, it was some strange circumstances, and everything is fine now. I feel bad that we live in another country, but, that is how things are.

[ummu Ilyas]

Asslaamu alaikum,

Masha allah iam so happy for all the sisters that have good relations with their inlaws and those that dont ,insha allah you solve the differences.

Well as for me i get along with my inlaws just fine alhamdulilah, we live in different countries but we go there for holidays and we talked on the phone. :mrgreen:

[bluesky]

AOA sisters,

I wish that I lived in another country to my in-laws :-\ :-\ :-\ :-\ :-\ :-\

Astagfirullah - but it is Allah swt's will that it is not to be the case ;D ;D :oops:

[Umm Ibrahim]

Assalaamu alaikum,

Alhamdu Lillah I get along well with my mil and sil's (two of them), oh and 2 wives of bils. They all speak French so I can communicate and chit chat with them. I miss Algeria! Maybe my mil will come for a few weeks to Saudi Arabia insha'Allah.

Nicola x

[Razzanah]

[smilie=111281salams.gif] I really love my In-Laws they are all nice and friendly my zewj is very family oriented with his family and so am I we both have a huge family we speend a lot of time with both families his mother and aunties are very hospitality people they are always having dinners and like for the women to go out and have lunch on a saturday sometimes we go to fabric store together and shop for material I like this alot because my zewj have one sister and alot of step sister so I always have somebody to talk to . Ps they are muslim so that it is a plus [smilie=12biggrin.gif] they remind each other to pray and I feel comfortable to wear full hijab because that is what they wear so yes I have a close relationship with my inlaws and my husband has a close relationship with my family [smilie=243221icon_lol.gif]

[Umm Ahmad]

While away from them, alhamdulillah dh talks to them 2wice a week like clockwork but for me, perhaps once in 2 weeks or 3 ........& mostly to my sil.....as for my m.i., i don't know what to say to her except ask how is is and the same goes for her.....after the initial nicities, she doesn't have much to say to me either. It wasn't always like this.....in the beginning when i used to try to talk a lot with her, she usualy wud say something to put me off entierly ( not puposely every time i think)
Anyways after a few months of this....i just started limiting my communication over the phone with her, & i know she doesn't have a problem with that either......so alhamdulillah it's amicable.
And hubby doesn't mind it either, alhamdulillah !

[Nadia1981]

As – Salaam Aleykum Wa Rahmatullah Wa Barakatu sisters,

Alhamdulillah is limited. But not because i want to. There is some tension between DH and one SIL and I feel he is not ok with me having some sort of connection yet.

InshaALLAH Khaire.

[εssence]

Alhumdulilah, I ADORE my in laws, they have taught me so much, and pretty much took me in as a 'daughter' to them...mashallah! My husband is the same with my parents, who now live with us, mashallah. Inshallah we'll always remain close.

[Umm Ayah]

:wsalam:

It's cool. I haven't spoken to MIL in a few days though.

[texas_muslimah]

we have something between good and limited.... my in laws are great... difficult, but great, mashallah, lol. I love them, truly. My hubby talks with his dad all the time, and i talk to his mom once a week or so. we all get along great, but are busy and stuff, so, it is somewhat limited, i guess... lol.

[umm zina]

masha`allah i have a good relationship with my in laws my mil stays with mr when my dh ia away but now that she is getting older and my kids are getting bigger she doesn`t stay as much as before but we see her regularly ans for my bil`s which are 4 or sil which is one i see when my dh is here or when i go to my mil house then i see them